September is National Student Parent Month, a time to honor and recognize the sacrifices, dedication, and accomplishments of parents who find time to better themselves while they care for others. On Thursday, Sept. 24, Rio Salado College hosted a virtual panel discussion for National Student Parent Month that brought together Rio alumni and staff to share their experiences about juggling so many responsibilities.
Moderated by Rio Salado's Program Officer of Community Engagement Reina Ferrufino, the event featured a panel of four who responded to questions from the audience and prompts from Ferrufino. This panel consisted of:
- Destiny Spurling — Rio Salado alumna pursuing her CPA certification, while also considering a future doctorate.
- Harry Gahagen Jr. — Rio Salado alumnus, father of three, firefighter, and current MBA student balancing family, career, and continued education.
- Dr. Tafari Osayande — Rio Salado leader, proud father, and advocate who works closely with pregnant and parenting students to support educational access and success.
- Michelle Reese — Rio Salado communications leader, mother of three, and recent master’s degree graduate who balanced work, family, and the demands of completing an international online degree.
Ferrufino kicked off the discussion by asking each of the panelists to share a little about themselves. Gahagen talked about his role as the acting firefighter captain at the Palo Verde nuclear power plant. Spurling shared that she had graduated from high school at 15 years old. Reese talked about her family and her four pugs, and going back to school at the age of 50 to earn a master’s degree.. Osayande revealed that he hasn’t owned a car for more than 10 years, and shared that he has graduated three times from ASU.
When asked what has been one of the biggest challenges they faced from balancing school, parenting, and work, and what has helped them through it, the panelists found common ground on the issue of time.
“I feel like there are not enough hours in the day,” Spurling said. “I struggle to get all of the things I need to get done; somehow I make it work.”
For Spurling, accepting that “nothing has to be perfect” helped her get over the anxiety of being present and at 100 percent for everything.
Gahagen credited his wife with being his biggest supporter throughout his academic journey.
"Without her help and support, I probably wouldn't have been able to get any of this done,” Gahagen said. While Spurling and Gahagen have younger children, Reese talked about how having older children (with some already in college when she went back) helped make her going back to school a team effort.
"I sat the whole family down before I started and I said, ‘The next two and a half years are just gonna be different,’" Reese said. "And I need everybody's help with dinners and cleaning and laundry... Setting that expectation at the beginning that hey, I might miss a few things or you really need to step up, that made a huge difference.”
Osayande talked about how difficult it can be to parent children in "a society that doesn't necessarily value parenting and childhood," and how he was fortunate to work in education with supervisors who understood that he wanted to be fully present in the lives of his children.
"Throughout higher ed I've had really good supervisors who recognize my work ethic and my performance, but they also validated me as a human being and a father," Osayande said.
The conversation turned to support resources and the panel talked about what made the difference for them as they continued their education. Reese talked about how sharing her schooling with other parents in her daughter’s volleyball club led to them stepping in to help her out when she needed it. She also joined her university’s online writing group, which helped her stay accountable by writing every other Saturday and kept her connected with other students.
For Gahagen, he found that communicating with the rest of his co-workers helped him carve out time during his 48-hour firefighter shifts to work on his studies.
“I can’t really predict what I’m gonna be doing during the day but I would tell them, hey, from 8 to 11 I’m gonna be in the back office in front of a computer,” Gahagen said. “If you need me, just tap on the window and say, ‘We gotta go.’”
He also talked about how the convenience of online learning was critical for his education, giving him the flexibility to log in when he could and work at his own pace.
Spurling emphasized the importance of asking for help.
“It’s not a weakness to ask for help,” she said.
She talked about getting help from other moms she knows, and also talked about how it’s important to give back, as well, and be a supportive figure for others.
“If I see a mom who’s a single mom and she’s like, ‘I don’t have anybody,’ I’ll say ‘let me take your daughter for a Saturday so you can spend the day by yourself.’ … Recognizing when there are people around us who are struggling is really important.”
Osayande said people often take for granted that the challenges and demands of parenting change depending on a child’s age.
“How you parent a newborn is totally different than how you parent a preteen or a teenager or an adult,” Osayande said. “And depending on that engagement level, you gotta navigate being in the workforce, you gotta navigate education.”
More questions and conversation continued throughout the rest of the hour. One question in particular spurred deep reflection from the panel when they were asked how their families have motivated them as students. The four panelists agreed on a common point: they all wanted to model the importance of education and practice what they preached.
"I've always told my daughter that learning is fun and challenging," Osayande said. "I didn't want to be a hypocrite, teaching her about education and then she sees me giving up at the last minute on something that I've been working on. So part of the motivation as a parent is setting an example for her."
Article by Austin Brietta