An F Isn’t The End: How To Bounce Back From Failure

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Monday, December 11, 2023
Hammer and bent nails in wood

It happens to the best of us. We have an off day and score poorly on a test. We get overwhelmed by work and forget to turn in an assignment. We study for hours but forget a crucial piece of information when we need it most. Even the most diligent of students will cross this river of woe at some point. A bad grade or a missed assignment may sometimes feel like the end of the road in your academic journey but they’re really just a speed bump. Don’t lose your momentum over it—here’s a few things you can do to help dust yourself off and get back on track.

Don’t Take It Personally

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake. You’re not stupid for failing a test. You’re not “bad at this” because you had trouble understanding the source material. Don’t take a less than satisfactory grade as a referendum on your intelligence or self-worth. Kicking yourself is counter-productive; even worse, it could even run the risk of making you quit. Have you ever had a moment in your life where you failed at a sport or a game or some kind of task and immediately thought “I’m no good at this, I should quit”? Ignore that little voice of despair: it won’t lead you anywhere good.

Understand What You Did Wrong

Instead of putting yourself through the blame game, a much more productive approach would be to figure out how you got to this point. Did you need to study more? Did you miss an assignment because you forgot to write the deadline in your planner? Is there some major stressor happening in your personal or work life that took you off your game and made you fall short on that important exam? Or perhaps you didn’t get enough sleep the night before and lethargy & lack of focus was the culprit.

When you can identify the wrong steps you made to get to this point, it can save you from repeating them in the future. Make a plan of action to address these issues. Whether it’s committing to getting a full 8 hours of sleep before test days or working on your organizational skills, making a plan will not only help you fix a problem but will also keep you from feeling helpless. It’s very easy to fall into a passive, self-pitying frame of mind after failing at something. Giving yourself positive tasks that make you feel more in control of your life will help you get out of that hole.

Remind Yourself Of Past Successes

When we fail, we often fixate on what we think we can’t do. It’s important in these moments to remind yourself that you ARE a competent, intelligent, and worthwhile person. You are more than your failures. Think of your past successes, academic and otherwise. What did you excel in? Was there a particular semester or year where you were positively on fire? If you already have degrees or certificates of any kind, just looking at them could serve as a powerful reminder that you ARE capable.

It can also help to give yourself little wins as you work to get back into your groove. If there’s a game or sport you’re good at, invite some friends to play with you. Got a talent or skill you enjoy practicing? Take some time to tap into those and feel the satisfaction of doing something well. 

Adopt Best Practices

On a related note: when you look back at your past successes, ask yourself if you did anything differently in that time. Maybe there was a study habit or behavioral pattern you did back then that pushed you over the top? Take a personal inventory of your current study habits. See how often you study and when. Is there a time of the day where you feel more mentally alert? Do you find yourself doing schoolwork when there’s a lot of distractions around you? And do you have a particular learning style that seems to work best for you—maybe you’re a visual learner, or perhaps reading work out loud helps cement concepts in your memory? Perhaps you’re having a hard time grasping your coursework because you’re learning it in a style that isn’t conducive to how YOU process and retain information.

Understanding what works best for you as a learner won’t just help you avoid making future mistakes: it sets you up for future successes. It’s the old “work smarter, not harder” maxim in action. 

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

Talk to your instructor if you feel like you’re falling behind or need some perspective. If you’re worried about failing your next exam, ask for their advice on what reading materials you should examine more carefully. You should also consider getting tutoring if you’re having trouble understanding the subject matter. It could also be helpful talking to friends and fellow students to hear about their study habits and test taking strategies. They may have an approach that works for them that could also do wonders for you.

Sometimes You Need To Fail To Succeed

The playwright and novelist Samuel Beckett once wrote "Try again. Fail again. Fail better." Failing at something can sting, but it also presents an opportunity for growth. How you respond to that failure and rise to overcome it, to move past it, can tell you a lot about yourself. For one thing, being able to mess up & get back up afterward can boost your confidence in the long-run because you’ve proved to yourself that you can “survive” this. The hard-earned knowledge that you can lose and it’s not the end of the world can give you a perspective that will serve you well in many areas of your life.

“No one sets out to fail but we often do,” said Dr. Melanie Abts, Rio Salado College's Counseling Faculty Co-Chair. “Having a growth mindset helps us embrace failure and the need to be perfect”

Failing something can also be a warning that you’re moving too fast, that maybe you skipped over some important steps that you need to double-back and master before going forward. Something as simple as skimming an important chapter or failing to grasp an important concept in class could hobble you down the line; failing an assignment could be a “check engine” light telling you to pop the hood and see what needs closer attention.

Another thing to bear in mind is this: yeah, you failed at something but at least you tried. You took the test! You signed up and attended that class! You’re putting in an effort to do something new with your life! These are all good, worthy things. The only way to not fail is to never try. Don’t forget that.

You Can Always Make It Up

Some mistakes are permanent and beyond fixing. When it comes to education, though, you can often get a do-over. “Do-overs can be great learning experiences,” said Dr. Abts.

 A sympathetic instructor may extend the deadline for a missed assignment if you communicate with them. Maybe you can’t retake the test you just bombed, but your overall pass/fail rarely depends on a SINGLE test. So long as you do better on the other ones, you should be able to make it to the other side all right. You won’t have a flawless, spotless grade, but you could still have a chance to acquit yourself admirably.

The worst case scenario is that you may have to withdraw/drop a course and take it again later. Considering the time and money investment that entails, that can be a bitter pill to swallow. But if you’re finding yourself stressed out and unable to catch up, you’re much better off in the long run taking a break and re-centering yourself than trying to push through a course you can’t make headway on.

Just remember: one mistake isn’t the end of the world. Things will get better. You’ll get better. It’s like Aaliyah sang: dust yourself off and try again.

 

Article by Austin Brietta

 

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